What Women Do When They Flirt - The Basics
by Robin McGrath
She saw him from across the room - tall, handsome, well dressed. He was surrounded by a group of other men. She couldn't keep her eyes off him. Finally, he glanced around the room and noticed her staring. He flashed a smile. She smiled back, raised her eyebrows opening her eyes wider. Then quickly, with a blush and a flip of her hair, she dropped her head, and turned to look away.
If you have ever done any reading or research on the basics of flirting, you would have discovered that this sequence of nonverbal cues is typical of women when flirting. They are called "contact-readiness" cues in the scientific world and are commonly used by women across the globe whether done consciously or not.
In other words, they are primal. And flirting is one of the primal behaviours we engage in whether we are single or married. Flirting is our invitation to be approached. For men, receiving the above cues from a woman tells him, "yes, please, come over."
Some people are fully aware that they are flirting and some are not. And for those women who are not, they are a little surprised, maybe embarrassed, when they are approached by the man they have unknowingly given these signals to. For others, fully aware of their flirtatious behaviours, they are not surprised when they are approached. But they may be surprised when the man they intended to have approach them does not. Their nonverbal cues may have been directed at an intended recipient who may not have been interested, but they also sent cues to another onlooker. And these cues told him also, "I'm open, I'm interested."
For those of you unaware that you are doing what you are doing to be approached, now you know. And for those of you who want to be approached more, now you know what you can do. Next time you are out and looking for attention you can use these basic nonverbal cues when you see "him" across the room to signal to him that you are interested.
Of course, there is a lot more to flirting, but these basic cues are used across cultures and continents. And if you want to learn more about what you are doing and not doing, you can always ask 25dates.com's resident Dating Coach, Aaron Adamson for help.