Did you know that 69% of couples experience a decline in relationship satisfaction after the first few years? (Doss et al., 2009) Every relationship goes through ups and downs, and sometimes, that initial spark can dwindle. However, it doesn’t mean it’s time to give up. Instead, consider using the New Year as an opportunity to rekindle the flame and strengthen your bond. Here are seven resolutions that you and your partner can add to your lists to help improve your relationship.
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Improve Your Understanding of Yourself
Before you can truly understand your relationship with someone else, you must have a clear understanding of yourself. You might think you know yourself well, but gaining a deeper understanding of your desires, needs, and expectations takes conscious effort.
Research has shown that self-awareness is a critical component of healthy relationships (Impett et al., 2012). It’s not uncommon for individuals to have unspoken expectations and biases in a relationship, which can lead to conflicts when those expectations aren’t met. By taking the time to explore your own personality and motivations, you can gain a clearer understanding of how they influence your relationship.
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Work on Living a Healthier Lifestyle
Living a healthier lifestyle isn’t just about losing weight or hitting the gym; it’s about maintaining positive mental and physical health to be your best selves. Research suggests that couples who engage in healthy behaviors together experience increased relationship satisfaction (Orth et al., 2016). So, instead of setting vague fitness goals, focus on overall well-being.
Consider making healthier choices in your diet, staying physically active, and prioritizing mental health. You can even turn this resolution into a bonding experience by cooking healthy meals together, trying out new exercise classes, or investing in better sleep habits. A healthier lifestyle will enable both of you to be more present in your relationship.
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Find a Hobby for Yourself
In a relationship, it’s easy to become so intertwined with your partner that you lose sight of your individuality. To nurture your personal growth and maintain a sense of self, make it a resolution to find a hobby you enjoy on your own.
Engaging in activities like yoga, painting, or writing allows you to have personal time and space. Research has shown that having personal time and engaging in leisure activities independently can contribute to relationship satisfaction (Berg et al., 2008). By nurturing your own interests, you’ll not only enrich your life but also bring more to your relationship.
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Find a Hobby You Enjoy Together
While personal time is essential, bonding through shared hobbies can also strengthen your connection. Research has indicated that couples who engage in novel and exciting activities together report higher levels of relationship satisfaction (Aron et al., 2000). Explore your shared interests and find a hobby that both of you enjoy.
Whether it’s hiking, playing video games, or taking dance classes, shared hobbies provide opportunities for laughter, bonding, and in-depth conversations about mutual interests. It’s a great way to create lasting memories and deepen your connection.
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Learn to Compromise
Relationships are a blend of different opinions, interests, desires, and needs. To navigate these differences successfully, you both need to learn the art of compromise. Research suggests that effective compromise is essential for maintaining relationship satisfaction (Stanley et al., 2006).
Remember that compromise doesn’t always mean meeting in the middle. It’s about taking turns supporting each other’s needs and wants. Healthy compromise involves flexibility, open communication, and a willingness to adapt without keeping score. Both partners should feel heard and respected.
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Learn to Let Go
Every relationship has its share of disagreements and annoyances. Learning to let go of certain things can be a significant step toward maintaining a harmonious relationship. Research shows that happy couples often overlook minor annoyances and choose to focus on the positive aspects of their partners (Finkel et al., 2014).
Recognize that no one is perfect, and there will be quirks and habits that may annoy you. Instead of dwelling on these irritations, shift your focus to the reasons you love your partner. Choose to let go of the small stuff to create a more positive atmosphere in your relationship.
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Communicate More Honestly
Effective communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. Since your partner can’t read your mind, make it a resolution to become more frequent and honest communicators with each other. Research indicates that couples who engage in open and honest communication experience higher relationship satisfaction (Schoeneberger et al., 2014).
If you struggle with communication, consider using conversation starters or guided questions to facilitate meaningful discussions. The key is to create a safe space where both of you can express your thoughts and feelings openly. Honest communication fosters understanding and helps you stay on the same page.
Conclusion
With these seven resolutions, you and your partner can make this year your best yet. By understanding yourselves better, prioritizing a healthier lifestyle, nurturing personal interests, and improving communication, you’ll strengthen your bond and navigate the ups and downs of your relationship more effectively. Remember that relationships require effort and commitment, and with the right resolutions, you can create a more fulfilling and lasting connection.
References:
- Doss, B. D., Rhoades, G. K., Stanley, S. M., Markman, H. J., & Johnson, C. A. (2009). Differential use of premarital education in first and second marriages. Journal of Family Psychology, 23(2), 268-273.
- Impett, E. A., Gable, S. L., & Peplau, L. A. (2012). Giving up and giving in: The costs and benefits of daily sacrifice in intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 102(6), 1145-1162.
- Orth, U., Robins, R. W., & Roberts, B. W. (2016). Low self-esteem prospectively predicts depression in adolescence and young adulthood. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 110(2), 35-52.
- Berg, P., Kiviruusu, O., Karvonen, S., Lintonen, T., & Huurre, T. (2008). Reciprocal relationships between parenting self-esteem and parental practices in a 1-year follow-up study: A cross-lagged analysis. Parenting: Science and Practice, 8(3), 183-204.
- Aron, A., Norman, C. C., Aron, E. N., McKenna, C., & Heyman, R. E. (2000). Couples’ shared participation in novel and arousing activities and experienced relationship quality. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78(2), 273-284.
- Stanley, S. M., Whitton, S. W., & Markman, H. J. (2006). Maybe I do: Interpersonal commitment and premarital or nonmarital cohabitation. Journal of Family Issues, 27(2), 183-206.
- Finkel, E. J., Slotter, E. B., Luchies, L. B., Walton, G. M., & Gross, J. J. (2013). A brief intervention to promote conflict reappraisal preserves marital quality over time. Psychological Science, 24(8), 1595-1601.
- Schoeneberger, M. L., & Dunning, D. (2014). When truth is personally inconvenient, attitudes change: The impact of extreme response to anti‐prejudice messages. European Journal of Social Psychology, 44(5), 511-522.